In 2019, Marie Kondo appeared on our screens to ask “Does it spark joy?”: I asked myself the same question about my life. It did not. Overweight, bad skin, unhappy with the way my career was going and was constantly worried about past mistakes. Apart from my loving hubby, nothing sparked joy.

I read a wonderful book by Don Miguel Ruiz and made four agreements with myself to change. They’re simple, easy to follow but if I may offer this advice: if you do fail go easy on yourself. Habits, like muscles, take time to develop.

Be impeccable with your word

What that meant for me was standing up for myself when necessary instead of allowing myself to ride roughshod and talking to people instead of about them. Words have power and they are better used in the power of truth and love.

Don’t take anything personally 

Nothing others do or say is because of you. We all know this but rarely put it into practice. What others say, do or think about you is just a projection of their own realities. As RuPaul famously said “What other people think of me is none of my business. Unless they’re paying your bills, pay them no mind!”

Don’t make assumptions 

This has been the hardest for me to follow because as I said I don’t often speak up for myself. Communication is key to everything. Ask questions, say what you really want. If you communicate with others as clearly as you can you avoid misunderstandings, misery and drama. It can be the hardest rule to follow but can completely transform your life.

Do your best

Now your best will change from day to day, from moment to moment. For example, a day at the gym will be better on a day that you’re rested, than a day when you’re tired. And so it is with everything. But no matter what the situation, simply do your best. And I do mean YOUR best. Don’t use the standard of what others do or don’t do to judge yourself.

Sounds simple I know, but like I say it all takes practice. If you feel you fail… simply remember number four and do your best.